The Unilevel Loop of Increasingly Uncomfortable Stagnation

The Unilevel Loop of Increasingly Uncomfortable Stagnation is a pretty common pattern of behavior. Part of my take on Kazimierz Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration, the Loop is part of the Growth Spiral where we get stuck pursuing a comfortable status quo as we avoid the discomfort of growth and change.

Visual representation of the Unilevel Loop of Increasingly Uncomfortable Stagnation
The Unilevel Loop of Increasingly Uncomfortable Stagnation

Avoiding growth is not inherently a bad thing - there are times when we need to retreat and regroup in order to move forward effectively. Looking at models of human needs, like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs or Kaufman's Sailboat, if our basic needs aren't being met it's hard to focus on or put energy into growth and development. However, when we have the resources and support that we need to grow but choose to stay in our comfort zone anyway, that's when we fall into the Loop.

The Loop is characterized by a few key behaviors:

Again, when we really need to focus on securing our basic needs, these patterns can be incredibly helpful. But when we have the capacity for growth and change, these behaviors hold us back - not only because they prevent us from growing, but also because they reinforce the belief that we can't face the challenges we need to grow. The more times you tell yourself that you can't handle change or uncertainty, the stronger that belief becomes.

The Unilevel Loop of Increasingly Uncomfortable Stagnation is also the birthplace of all sorts of maladaptive coping mechanisms. As we actively avoid opportunities for growth over and over again, our brains will invent new ways to rationalize that avoidance. We might tell ourselves that we need to focus on other things (things that fulfill perceived social expectations, most likely) first, that we want to keep our options open, that we don't want to rock the boat, or that we're just not ready yet. We might also develop cognitive dissonances where we lie to ourselves in an attempt to justify our behavior, like telling ourselves that we're happy with where we are when we obviously aren't, living like we're the smartest person in the room but have nothing to show for it, landing leadership roles in organizations without actually leading anything, or bragging that we've reached some sort of detached state of enlightenment while still being obsessed with what other people think of us. And as we keep piling on these rationalizations and coping mechanisms, we end up feeling worse and worse about ourselves and less and less like we will ever escape the Loop.

So how does one get out of the Loop? The longer you've been in it, the harder it is to break free. And the sad fact is that most people never escape the Loop. Dabrowski wrote that people in "primitive [unilevel] integration comprise the majority of society" in his original book on Positive Disintegration. But I don't think it has to be this way - I think it's a side-effect of what society has prioritized when it comes to developing our kids and helping everyone to thrive. I think that with the right support and resources - more gurus, mentors, and elders and fewer highly structured activities - most everyone can escape the Loop. But choosing that different path for yourself or your kid that leads out of the Loop itself requires you to... break out of the Loop. I think that's why legit, deep, meaningful, individually-focused rites of passage are so important - they provide a clear, structured opportunity with intentional supports and scaffolds to help people break out of the Loop and into a new way of being. Modern society doesn't really provide those opportunities, so we have to seek them out for ourselves.

If you're stuck in the Loop, I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust - a mentor, coach, or guru - and ask for help. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Because once you break out of the Loop, you'll find that the world is a much bigger and far more interesting place.